There are so many challenges that can fill up my busy days of managing my children on the autism spectrum. If I don’t stop and pay attention to the joy that my children bring me….what’s the point? My children crack me up, usually when I’m least expecting it. The joys that my kids bring me are huge, and too numerous to write down, but I’ve listed a couple that stand out to me. Funny faces, random moments of mimicking, and dance time are the specialties that make up some of the fun around our house.
Neither boy can resist a mirror, especially Max. The more faces the boys can come up with the better…and the more we can all copy it…well, not much tops that. I’m not exactly sure when the faces started, but they have become a past time for all of us. Max has limited vocabulary, and getting him to play is not always easy. Mason has learned that the way to start the playful communication and get Max to pay attention to him, is to start making faces at him. Max recognizes play when he sees it….and usually once the faces start…they keep on coming for quite awhile. Sometimes I’m amazed at just how many little contortions they can come up with.
Then there is dance time; a favorite for all. Mason turns on the tunes, and we’re set.
99% of the time, dancing is started by playing an Usher song…it’s from a Star Wars video that Mason loves. We bring out the gymnastic mats and the double sided light sabers. Mason’s dance routines are a combination of a marital arts weapon demonstration, some kick turns, random twirls, etc. This kid has some amazing rhythm, and is quite good with his weapon tricks. Max likes to join in by jumping off the side of the couch, landing on the mat and rolling out. He imitates some of what Mason is doing, but mostly he is in his own happy place. The three of us all dance our own style, but we are together in the same room, sharing in the joy. The music gets played repeatedly. And when I say repeatedly, I mean 20 or so times in a row. If we’re dancing, there seems to be no reason to change songs. So, Usher it is!
The mimicking comes in randomly, and is usually so off the wall that it stops everyone in their tracks, and the laughter soon follows. Max is my little tape recorder. He repeats quotes from movies, computer games, tv, etc. When and where he chooses to replay his productions is what usually causes the humor.
Laughter for no apparent reason, chase, and tickle games are also what keeps smiles going in our house.
My personal favorite each night is “tuck-in” time. I read every night to the boys. They can both read now, but they still enjoy the routine of Mom tucking them in and reading a good 30-45 minutes to each of them. Max and I have read Horton Hears a Who every night for the last 5-6 months. Sometimes we play games with how fast or slow I read it, or silly noises that get added to the story….but mostly it’s just the closeness and the bonding that I enjoy. His attention span doesn’t falter, he stays right with me….and this, is beautiful!
Same thing applies to Mason. Mason rarely has time to interact with Mom anymore, especially as he gets older and his interests are changing. But the nighttime read is an absolute. He’ll be right by my side, all cuddled up and have me read one of our stories. Currently we’re engrossed in a Riordan series. I’ll usually read 2-3 chapters; as much as I can until my voice starts to get tired. But again, as with Max, this is when I have his undivided attention. This is when he devotes himself solely to being with Mom; priceless.
As I said above, there are so many situations that can be challenging in raising children on the autism spectrum, but I like to focus on the joy and happiness they bring me. It’s there more than I realize, all I need to do is look. I want to appreciate all that I have with them. These boys are full of love, laughter, many interests, and both really like to be funny. It’s my goal is to present them with a stage, an audience, an announcer, and sometimes…a back-up dancer.
** Today’s blog is written for S-O-S research’s “Best of the Best” http://sos-research-blog.com/10/s-o-s-best-of-the-best-edition-11-family-life/, a webpage dedicated to blogging for special needs. The title focused on Family Life: Fun, Loving and Special. I thought this would be a great opportunity to share some of the ways my boys and I share our love.
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